Never enough time

I have too many interests. I wish I were really good at just a few things, but I find so many creative outlets interesting that I never have the time to get super good at something.

They ebb and flow, sometimes I’m incredibly interested in sewing and other times I’m obsessed with knitting or crocheting. One time I got really into Zentangle for a couple of weeks, but that kind of died down (although I’d really like to get better at that).

I like to play musical instruments, sing, bake, cook fun vegetarian dinners, blog, Instagram, read and a whole host of other things I’m sure I’m forgetting. On top of all this I try to keep on top of my exercise routine (a walk every morning and yoga three times(ish) a week). I also try to make sure I get at least 7.5 hours of sleep every night, but have been slacking lately.

Oh, and did I mention I have a full-time job? And, you know, have to help Grant keep the house clean and cook dinner every once in a while?

I love creating. It’s so much fun, it really is. Sometimes there’s just not enough time in the day and it makes me sad that I have to choose. Now I’ve gotten into Bullet Journaling, which I’m sure I will keep doing because I need a good way to keep track of my work stuff and home stuff and everything else essentially. But that has become a huge time suck — not in a bad way, of course. 

Then there’s this blog, which I thoroughly enjoy, but is also a time suck. 

What I’m getting at is that I really, really, REALLY want to write a novel and I just need to make the time to do what I really want to do. I have to choose. 

I was talking to one of my yoga teachers the other day about this teacher training program they’re doing come January. I also REALLY want to do that and I’ve said for a while that I want to become a yoga teacher one day. I just sort of told her that I do want to attend the training, but I’m not in a place financially to do that so soon. She responded with a bit of truth that I expected but still made me think long and hard about lots of stuff, not just yoga teacher training. 

She said that if I really wanted to do it, like deep down in the depths of my heart and being, that I would find a way to do it. And that’s how I feel about this novel thing. Yes, I’ve wanted to become a yoga teacher for a while now. But I’ve wanted to become an author for even longer. And that’s what would make my heart happy now. 

Since high school I’ve said I have three life goals:

1. To write a book

2. To become fluent in a second language

3. To go on Jeopardy (This might not stil be a life goal, but it would be cool.)

I have a few more I could add to that, but the book is numero uno right now.

My character is itching to exist on paper. Her story, her family’s story, her friends’ stories want to be told. 

I think my procrastination through creativity is a sign I’m scared. Of what? I don’t quite know yet. A lot of things, I suppose. 

Anywayyyyyy back to the point. I know I said I want to write this blog every day. And I do! But I think I will have to scale back a bit. Just so I can achieve this goal that will fulfill my creative being. 

Anyway, I had to get that out there. The struggle is real, y’all. I need to get on this!

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